Feb 20/09 3:54pm

I always assumed that when you eat food it's already dead and not supposed to bite back at you. I was wrong on so many levels. Today me and a friend who wishes to be left anonymous, sat down at a place called Burger Baron for a late lunch. We ordered two massive burgers with some sort of un-identified white sauce, corn fritters with honey, deep fried mushrooms with ranch and curly fries. After lunch we felt satisfied and decided to hit the mall. We walked outside for a quick minute while my friend desperatly attempted to break a guy down on the phone. Meanwhile I am pointing to my stomach in agony. We rushed to the car and zoomed home. Right before we were home she started having the same agonizing "oh my god don't make me laugh it's already seeping" kind of pain i was just enduring. We rushed into the house and straight into the bathrooms. The best way to describe it is 800lbs of anal beads rushing through and out your body faster than a speeding bullet. So here we lay, hurting and so not looking forward to round two.